☮ 20100327 20:43


fuck.

i cried a little yesterday. i think my heart died too. these few days i have been fucking it all up. this fucking giddiness just wont fucking go away. i feels like a boat ride. like anyone fucking cares, they kept saying "OMG! ARE YOU PREGNANT!?" like FUCK NO. why should i fuck someone? i feel so fucked up. mayb im just exhausted mentally and physically. i dont really eat properly these few days anyway. ugh.

sometimes, i really wished i would just collapsed in front of them. i have lost my mind, officially.


i feel like everything i do this NEVER good enough for certain people. i really did my best. mayb that's what i thought? my best was not good enough. im not a confirm registered staff. im a failure if they doesnt confirm me next month. i dont feel like talking to any of the 'big people'. i just want to know if im good enough to be confirm. i feel like a fucking disappointment. i feel like im an attention-seeker. i fucking hate myself. why am i even still here? why the fuck am i still fucking here?




btw, when are they going to get the fuck out? not they, just him. fuck.

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20100326 00:28


although seeing your adorable face makes me happy, i feel so idiotic each time i made a fool of myself in front of you.


i need to shut the fuck up, srsly.

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20100321 22:59


hello love,

just one more day. well, today was okay.
MARKSIM SAID THAT I BULLY HIM, WHICH IM SURE I DIDNT! AHA.


(:

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20100317 01:23


i met him on this day and had my heart broken with a simple note.

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 01:13


my love,
this 21st birthday was slightly better than the other birthdays but not as epic as when mike goh and friends actually wished me one day later. Still after screwing up at work and fucking it all up, i realised i should just fucking shut my mouth and do what people told me to do and not to just take it lightly. I cried so much last saturday that my eyes were swollen till that night.

And i wont want to except anything from this woman anymore. Thank you for celebrating my birthday and i fucking regrets it.



):

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20100301 01:34


heyhihello - brighter lights


Sir, shake my hand- it's a pleasure to meet you
I'm not trying to waste your time
my name is Miserable & Full of Regret
but, I'm trying to change that line
up in my head are all the times that I've seen you
and wished that you were dead
but one by one, they turn and point at me
until i wish my demise instead

because, I've heard all the things you say to me
to hold my head high and pick up my feet
but, i think you'll agree
I'm not quite ready to go

we can look up
we can let go of this tonight
because we are alive, and we're not alone
I'm finding love within the light

without a doubt, i am full of hesitation
I'm positive that I'm unsure
that the disease in my lungs that is keeping me from singing
is so lonely without a cure
inside my heart, just a few inches over
i can hear a stronger beat
it's the only thing that keeps me alive
the only thing that drives my feet

because I've heard what you've said and i figured it out
to hold my head high and just go about
with a smile on my face
because i know, in the end, the sun will come out again

we can look up
we can let go of this tonight
because we are alive, and we're not alone
I'm finding love within the light

I'll say, "i believe you when you tell me there is still a silver lining"
I'll say, "i believe you when i wake up and the sun is brightly shining"

because I've heard what you've said and i figured it out
to hold my head high and just go about
with a smile on my face
because i know, in the end, the sun will come out again

we can look up
we can let go of this tonight
because we are alive, and we're not alone
i'm finding love within the light



// why is it my heart skips a beat when i see you?

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 01:28




for no reason, i miss staying awake till early morning. just like before the heartache and all.

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥