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20090715
18:19
im going insane. the wait is killing me.. im having weird thoughts now. all the 'what if's. im afraid. why havent they call me yet? maybe its true that im positive. maybe this marks the end of my fucking life.. Labels: sick he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20090712
18:35
how i wished this is all just a fucked up nightmare. right now, the thermometer and tablets are my best friends. five days off from work is already bad enough. i dont know how will they react when im back. i bet they must have hated me for endangering their lives. all i could think right now is how my result would be.. Labels: sick. Working. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20090711
18:45
right now im lying on the bed. been coughing the whole time. and i actually bother to take my meds this time. you never realise how fragile life is until someone you love passes on. rest in peace my dearest uncle. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20090709
18:32
im shivering. 2 days mc. called the bloody place and got reprimanded. srsly i dont know. at least i bothered to call and inform. i know, im new. but you dont have to treat me this fucking way. tbh, i fucking hate this place. why the fuck im here again? i rather die than to come back the bloody place. i dont feel belong at all. no, i dont. i doubt i will. i will laughing and pretend that im having a fucking good time with you guys. but, no i wont. i wont. i hate it. i hate myself ): he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20090707
17:36
just sit back and enjoy the fucking show. the dorsal part of my hands are so fucking itchy. damn dry right now. having two beutiful cuts on my left arm. tbh, i cant wait to start going back to school. i hate working life. those of the same batch as me have prolly taken 4-10 cases. i feel so fucking useless now. fuck this. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20090702
01:49
and oh, i cried till my eyes were swollen the other day. i still feel so tired after yesterday (um. on tuesday, i mean) i admit i feel like quiting this fucking job. i admit i kinda hate this fucking job. i admit i dont feel belong in this fucking place. i admit i do regret joining this path. but then again, since im already in this path i might as well keep moving forward. srsly im gonna breakdown if i dont start thinking positively. i just need to start believing in myself again (like i ever did) anw, i embarrassed myself in front three doctors all at the same time. fuck the foreskin. i srsly dont know. yeah, i did laughed at myself. but think again, as a nurse who just graduated i should able to locate where the fucking foreskin. im so fucking stupid. ugh. fuck i need to stop this shit and start cleaning. my two days off will be over in... about 36 hours. yes, im a freak too. and baby blue scrubs on saturday! yay. Labels: off day(s), rants he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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01:19
goodbye june. bought a new phone. still figuring out how to use it.     and yes, that's Gareth Gates. he's hot. (well, almost all the musicians i admire are hot. so, yeah..)  Labels: gareth gates, money, off day(s), payday, phone he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥ |