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20081230
23:55
i hate my fucking self. this is the time where you dont give a fuck abt me. oh wait. you already ignoring me like fuck. i feel like quiting this goddamn course. im tired of being positive abt it all. really fuck everything. everyone seems to look down on me. i dreamt that i had a deep cut on my left wrist. prolly that's how mch i felt like hurting this fucking self. ): Labels: attachments, im sorry you had to read this he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20081227
08:56
ah fuck. i need to rant. i feel like a cursed. its alr the 3rd fucking time that someone collapsed during my shift. well, its 4th to be exact. i cant help it but to feel useless. // oh, why my dear? i went to Jurong to make the goddamn nametag ytd. the fucking place is fucking stupid. no one would knw whr is it if they dont leave their contact no. it took only a while that we got our nametags. the lady misspelt Ramri's name. you shld totes see her face. she was like "WTF!?" anyway, Ramri did some late xmas shopping. and rushed to wrk aft that. // my fuck! i look like fuck. like i ever look better in my fucking life. i hate the fact my stupid hair curls. another random post, fo cereals. Labels: attachments he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20081220
10:42
i feel so useless. i wish i would just die at this very moment. Labels: im sorry you had to read this he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20081214
07:13
detox just to retox. i met Shoban. i srsly hoping that he wont recognise me. but fuck, he did. it was kinda weird talking with him. still, it was nice to know that im rmbed by some people. he fucking said that i was emo. he dont know a fuck about me. i doubt anyone in my fucking secondary sch does. not even one talk about my dad. or asked if im alright. prolly that's why.. fuck! ytd was truly fucked. a patient was in a fucking mess, all thanks to her fucking self. it was frustrating when she starts bossing me around. i felt like crying in front her and tell that she's making my life miserable. another human being was pissed with someone else and talk to me kinda rudely. i certainly dont deserve this. i felt like giving up. oh darling, does he know what you're going through? all she cares about is her. i feel like a used catlitter. Labels: attachments, misery he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20081211
01:24
just got home an hour ago. my body itch like fuck. prolly bcoz of the weather. i hate long holidays altho it was nice. long holidays never fail to make me feel damn lazy. srsly, i cant wait for my next bday. im so getting TH new album. and yeah. fuck. i dont feel like continuing anymore... Labels: attachments, tokio hotel he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20081209
20:16
30 days of Christmas and all I know Is I'm not quite ready to let go of this past year I have so much to show One more month And all I need is a sign from you that you think of me If you don't Then please just say so Cause all I do Is think of you (Chorus) And it's wearing me out It's wearing me down This holiday is nothing but frowns for me But I've got a gift You see I'm making a list Hell I'll check it twice Of all the things you've done in my life Then I'll send it your way So you see why I love you Who would have thought that someone like me Could of fall in love so easily. I know that you know that i know what i want I know I cant have it but give it a thought. I know that it sounds crazy baby but all I do is think of you. (Chorus) And it's wearing me out It's wearing me down This holiday is nothing but frowns for me But I've got a gift You see I'm making a list Hell I'll check it twice Of all the things you've done in my life Then I'll send it your way So you see why I love everything you throw my way I know it's hard to say But it's a crying shame that I came all this way With so much to say But all that came out was Happy Holiday A home cooked meal and a nice warm bed Somebody to love A place to lay my head But I got 30 days and I'm gonna make em count Cause I cant call it Christmas without someone to smile about Labels: lyrics, nevershoutnever he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20081206
23:39
fuck the world. why do i look like fuck? its alr the 4th week of the previous week was okay, i guess. and this week truly suck. and im still surviving. almost gave up this fucking job. you never know when your patient gonna collapse and needs resus. i walked off as it gets all tensed. nurses, doctors and people. the sound of 'CODE BLUE IN WARD --' made me shiver. i felt like crying at that very moment. prolly bcoz i was scolded and chased out by the staff nurse. or mayb bcoz the patient was well when i last talk to her. your cold hand reminded me of my dad. i burst into tears when i reached home that night. to make this week worse, i met one of my transfered out patient's daughter. i was too zonked to rmb which patient. anw, she told me that her mum passed on. and this happened a day after. i feel like hurting myself when i think of this again. and i wished you give a fuck about me. Labels: attachments, misery he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥ |