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20070730
23:10
my uncle from my mum's side just passed on this morning. mum went bck to Msia to see him for the last time. to be honest, i felt like nothing happened. then, my bro said, "its like you losing me". no. i cant lose my one and only brother. he's the next closest person to me in my family. still, losing a family member is just too painful. i dont know if i can face anymore 'loss' in the future. i wonder how is mum right now. hope she's all right. i know she's strong. sometimes, she cried in room alone and pretends that nothing is wrong ):  thanks for the memories Labels: death he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070726
21:21
i hate myself. i shld just shut the  Labels: misery he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070723
21:14
i changed the blogskin again. slap me, pls. yeah. its been a while. sigh. i still miss those memories in IMH. both sad & happy (: anw, im not good with words. so, i decided to post some of the pics we took during the attachment.  seriously i dont recall what we're talking abt  acting tired  ramri's bday. it was a blast!  all of us with staff  last pic of the last day of the wonderful attachment (: Labels: attachments, pictures he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070715
14:39
changed the skin again. same song. 'they' will be always be in my ♥ Love is not a given You're not forgiven But we all easily submit You have forsaken What you have taken So we all still incomplete I thought we were playing a similar game And after these years it's still been the same And you, of all people, still have your name What about compromise? I hold no disguise You should know better It's not I don't want you, I want you But I need you to be A little bit faithful and grateful and loyal to my needs Don't think I was selfish, I was selfless And afterall I've given you It's not I don't love you, I love you Well, at least I try to Trust is not an object You could reject But we all easily believe You have been waiting And all I've been saying “Please be there for me” It's not like we got a thousand years I've yet to express to you all of my fears And while you have wasted all of your tears What about compromise? Why do I pay the price? Only you have the answers, answers It's not I don't want you, I want you But I need you to be A little bit faithful and grateful and loyal to my needs Don't think I was selfish, I was selfless And afterall I've given you It's not I don't love you, I love you Well, at least I try to I know I'm not perfect but I deserve respect And after all that's said and done You remain the only one in my heart It's not my ego But if you go I'd have so much to say Did we pick a good fight to prove who’s wrong and who’s right? Can we finally compromise? It's not I don't want you, I want you But I need you to be A little bit faithful and grateful and loyal to my needs Don't think I was selfish, I was selfless And afterall I've given you It's not I don't love you, I love you Well, at least I try to It's not I don't want you, I want you But I need you to be A little bit faithful and grateful and loyal to my needs Don't think I was selfish, I was selfless And afterall I've given you It's not I don't love you, I love you Well, at least I try to Can we at least talk about it? Can we at least compromise? compromise - imran ajmain Labels: imran ajmain, lyrics he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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00:35
changed the skin again. abit irritable ytd and now. just want to be alone to rearrange my messed up life. this blogskin is currently messed up too. go away ): for some weird reason, im thinking of 'them' Labels: misery he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070712
21:41
In my life I don't mean much to anyone I've lost my way can't go back anymore Once I had everything now it's gone Don't tell me again cause I've heard it all before Some people say that I'm not worth it I've made mistakes but nobody's perfect Guess I'll give it a try I've got one last chance to get myself together I can't lose no more time it's now or never and I try to remember who I used to be I've got one more chance to get myself together The time has come for me to change again I can't carry on like this, I will lose my friends don't say that you have given up on me Just give me the time and speace to heal my head I don't wanna be misunderstood I've got to take this chance and make it into something good james morrison - "one last chance" Labels: james morrison, lyrics he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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16:25
abit disappointed with myself. i dont think NURSING my thing anymore. i suck at it. had an emotional breakdown. to be honest, it like almost EVERY DAMN ATTACHMENT. its horrible. so depressing. the previous attachment before the KKH attachment, i also cried on my bday at home. sometimes, i feel that im stupid to choose this course in the first place. yes, i know i want to help others and make a difference to them. but, i dont think i can. still having doubts. the only reason i stay is.. my family. its so depressing. i just want to keep quiet and be alone. withdrawn ): Labels: attachments, misery he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070711
07:58
okay. everything seems okay, i guess. only that at times i feel like crying. not now. being with 'them' is depressing initially. but, i think its different. i want to make a difference to their lives. make 'them' feel better. even, so much better than me. anw, i have a confession. im the one. you know it from the start. i know you will (:  Labels: borderline personality disorder he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070709
20:11
my life's screwed and i dont feel like going to work tml ):  pic grabbed frm yeejoo's blog  me & lin mei  me & yeejoo  guess, i love this pic best (: Labels: attachments, pictures he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070708
01:16
Biar ghaib mu suatu misteri Tiada ku mencari sebarang pembayang lagi Biar ia bertanda tanya saja Hati ku dah lama bertitik noktah Biar, biar lah berlalu Biar, biar lah begitu Biar waktu mengubat rindu Tiada ku mencari sebarang penawar pilu Biar lah mereka tertanya-tanya Hati ku dah lama berganti arah Biar, biar lah berlalu Biar, biar lah begitu Mana pergi janji Setia di sisi Hanya aku yang tertunggu-tunggu Waktu pun berjalan Tak berkesempatan Kau hilang tanpa pesanan Biar, biar lah berlalu Biar, biar lah begitu Biar ghaib mu suatu misteri Tiada ku mencari sebarang pembayang lagi imran ajmain - "ghaibmu" Labels: imran ajmain, lyrics he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070706
23:50
last day of KKH. nothing much.     tulips are beautiful (: Labels: attachments, tulips he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070705
21:51
its my fault. what you said about me is so true. counting down: its pointless ): Labels: borderline personality disorder he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20070703
22:27
just got back for KKH. i met Yee Joo just now. so happy. if dont have her, i'll 'die'. she talked about dead fetus. i was thinking of the ones in the jar filled with some fluid. geesh. always thought i wont have any interest for KKH. but, its somewhat exciting. going to the nursery is fun. the first time i carried a baby. i was so worried that i might drop the baby. heh. i didnt. anw, thrs a particular SSN thats very annoying. pissed the crap of some ppl. actually, im not that pissed. only that i find the SSN very unreasonable at times. overall, the whole experience was a pleasing one minus the SSN. still, im looking forward for the weekend. im dead tired. counting down: 3 days left (: Labels: attachments he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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10:32
feeling much better this days. i should be happy. its depressing to be depressed. anw, i was thinking that i would screwed ytd. i didnt. that's good, i guess. everything seems to go well. but, im worried that this state of elation wont last. nothing lasts forever. sigh. frm this day on, i can online daily. i hope. counting down: 4 days left to weekend Labels: attachments he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥ |