☮ 20061229 22:14


dear daryll,


i cld slp last night. dont knw why. mayb worried abt my godsis. i dont knw. i slpt at 0300 in morn. woken up by a scary yet weird dream. i dont wish to recall it. been hving those thoughts again. i dont wanna tell anyone abt it. its too weird and frightening. im listening to 92.4FM right now. loudly. stupid thing to do. reminds me of the past again. dammit. shall repress it again.



She sends it home in a paper bag.
She says thing change. Maybe it's me.
She didn't take time. Time to slow down.
She didn't take time. Time to let me catch up.
You can't fix me up.
You can't fix me up.
This bleading heart.
This bleading heart is broken.
My innocence.
My innocence. This bleading heart. My blead'n.
Waiting here you seemed an hour.
Waiting here you seemed an hour long.
I'm waiting here you.
This bleading heart is broken.
My innocence.
My innocence. This bleading heart. My blead'n.
Waiting here you seemed an hour.
Waiting here you seemed an hour long.
She sends it home in a paper bag.
She says thing change. Maybe it's me.
You can't fix me up.
You can't fix me up.
This bleading heart.
This bleading heart is broken.
My innocence.
My innocence. This bleading heart. My blead'n.


bleeding heart - ACCEPTANCE

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20061228 21:42


ytd, i went to VIVOCITY with Asyikin & Sheila. met up Asyikin @ 1200. then, off to VIVOCITY. well, its like another shopping mall xcept it located near to Sentosa & its SUPER BIG. haha. we took pics.



well, aft that we went to Changi Airport to eat $2.50 chicken rice. it was yummy. haha. click here for more details on the outing. well, im too lazy to blog it here OH YA! we saw a guy who looks like LANDON PIGG. too bad, we didnt get his pic. sigh~

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he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20061225 10:45


dear daryll,


just got back. damn bloody tired, right now. wasnt at home last night. miss my bed. anw, ytd i woke unusually early. helped my bro to hang his clothes. finished the last few grains of fried rice which i cooked. then, ard 1600+ i went to my 2nd sis' hse. she had a feast for smtg. actually, i know why lah. but, i dont bother to tell everyone abt it. well, aft tt i went back hm to grab sm things and bck to my sis' hse again. then, went to Changi Airport to send off my mum's friend. reminded me of smtg. shall i say it sweet or bitter memory? anw, mum went to the toilet w her other friend while leaving my ygr sis and i w the things. i began to talk craps sang sm songs and took pics of the police officer thr, secretly of coz. he reminds me of Sgt Dollah. damn funny. then, went to smwhr. spent a night thr. i cld only slp a few mins. well, i had to wake up at 0300+. was full of energy at first. mann, this reminds me of the past again. sigh~ anw, i was half-dead less than two lousy hours.

well, its good to b hm. i miss my bed. oh ya! at the airport, i thought i saw a friend. really looks alike. just now on my way hm, i oso thought i saw another friend at the bus stop near that friend's hse. so, i smiled at the person. she gave me the blur look. then, i realised it wasnt her at all.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20061223 23:15


dear daryll,


its been a while i ACTUALLY blog. well, here it goes. i woke up late as usual today. then, took a long shower. chged my blog pic again. now its much better. then, acc my mum to buy some things. recalled some of the past. well, helped mum carried the things. NOT A SINGLE FUCKED UP PERSON HELP ME AT ALL! damn pissed. anw, its a good thing that i accompany my mum. got hm and kept the things bought. my dearest uncle is cmg tonight. damn rush. he's just like a FATHER to me. but, he's totally different frm my dad. anw, i cooked fried rice. guess what? he went out with mum. maybe he's not stay here tonight. sigh~

thrs a lot of fried rice left. so, i asked if my bro's godbro want to try my fried rice. he said tt it needs chili. i knw, i knw. its kinda tasteless. well, i took silly pics with my plate of fried rice.



happy face


happy face fed by me


well, been hving 'THOSE THOUGHTS' again aft a few mths. i miss my dad. its been a while.. i almost forgot. just nw, my mum said "I LOVE YOU" in the bus and i asked "WHY?" without thinking. what a damn idiotic reply! im being the stupid self who cant really xpress myself. sigh~

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20061222 23:43


through glass - STONE SOUR


I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh, God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel?
That is the question
But I forget
You don't expect an easy answer

When something like a soul
Becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect the bitter folks
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
All I know is that it feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real
So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
And if that came from the heart
It never did, right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(Now I'm more, instead of voices)

Before You tell yourself
Its just a different scene
Remember its just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Now all I know is that feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Now all I know is that it feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh, God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you
And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you

Oh, when the stars, Oh, when the stars they lie

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20061204 22:42


PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (musical)

Act One

The musical opens on the bare stage of the Opera Populaire in Paris in 1905. An auction is underway, and set pieces from the old theatre are being sold. Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny, an elderly man in a wheelchair, purchases a unique monkey music box that seems to hold special meaning for him. Another item up for auction is an old chandelier. The auctioneer mentions that the chandelier was involved in the "strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera, a mystery never fully explained." He illuminates the chandelier and it rises to the ceiling of the theatre (Overture). Sets and curtains rise from the stage floor, and the action shifts to 1881. The Opera Populaire is active and open, and a rehearsal for Hannibal is underway with Carlotta, Piangi and the ballet chorus. Monsieur Lefevre, the owner, arrives and announces that he has sold the theatre to two new managers, Monsieurs Firmin and Andre. They observe two of the ballet dancers, Meg Giry and her friend, Christine Daae, with some curiosity. Andre is taken with the Carlotta, and asks her to sing an aria as a special favor ("Think of Me"). She complies, but in the middle of the song, a backdrop suddenly falls dangerously close to her. The entire company is thrown into chaos, blaming the accident on the Opera Ghost. Carlotta is badly shaken. She tells the managers that she has dealt with such incidents for several years, and that she has no desire to continue the practice. She quits, taking Piangi with her. A quick consult with Reyer reveals that there are no understudies for Carlotta. The managers lament having to cancel the show, but Meg quickly suggests that they consider Christine. While they do not wish to entertain the idea at first, Madame Giry convinces them to listen to her sing. Christine starts her song tentatively but eventually impresses the entire company with her voice and is given the role. The lights dim, and Christine walks downstage in full costume, performing in the opera. The managers and Raoul look on from the stage box. Raoul is particularly impressed; he remembers Christine from their childhood exploits and is thrilled to see her again ("Think of Me (continued)"). After the performance, Madame Giry praises Christine and castigates the ballet girls, forcing them to practice into the night. Meg sneaks away from the rehearsal to find Christine outside her dressing room. She expresses her delight in her friend's change of fortune, but wonders how it came about. Christine tells Meg that she has been visited by the Angel of Music, a mysterious figure who brings her joy and frightens her at the same time. The two discuss the issue in song ("Angel of Music") until Madame Giry arrives to retrieve Meg and deliver a note from Raoul.

The managers bring Raoul to Christine's dressing room. She is pleased to see him, and reminisces with him about times past ("Little Lotte"). He invites her to dinner, in spite of her protests, and leaves her to get dressed for the outing. When Raoul leaves, the Phantom makes his presence in the room and his displeasure known ("Angel of Music/The Mirror"). Christine pleads for his forgiveness and begs the Phantom to show himself. He complies, revealing himself behind Christine's mirror. The mirror panel slides back, revealing a tunnel; the Phantom extends his hand and Christine follows him behind the mirror. Raoul returns, only to find the dressing room empty. The Phantom brings Christine through a series of underground tunnels and, finally, across a lake filled with candles ("The Phantom of the Opera"). They eventually arrive at his subterreanean lair, where he entreats her to sing for him. He explains his love of music and darkness to Christine, seducing her with his voice and words ("Music of the Night"). He shows her a mannequin he has crafted in her image, wearing a wedding dress; the sight is too startling to her and she faints. The next morning, Christine sees the Phantom bent over his organ, composing ("I Remember..."). She decides to unmask him and is horrified by his deformed appearance. The Phantom rounds on her and chases her about the lair; they finally both fall to the ground in tears. Sobbing, the Phantom tries to explain that he only wants to be like everyone else, and that he hopes she will learn to love him in spite of his face. She returns his mask and the two have a moment of understanding before he abruptly decides to return her to the surface. The two exit ("Stranger than You Dreamt It"). As the Phantom and Christine sneak back into the theatre, Joseph Buquet regales the ballet girls with terrible tales of the mysterious Opera Ghost ("Magical Lasso"). Madame Giry warns him to keep quiet about the Ghost for his own sake.

In the managers' office, Firmin, Andre, Raoul and Carlotta puzzle over several cryptic notes they have received from "O.G." ie, the Opera Ghost. Raoul blames the managers for his note, which warns him to stay away from Christine. Carlotta accuses Raoul of sending her letter, which demands that she relinquish her leading role in the Opera to Christine. Madame Giry arrives with another note, in which the Phantom tells the managers to keep Box Five free for him, give the leading role in the opera Il Muto to Christine, and relegate Carlotta to a silent bit part ("Notes"). Carlotta accuses Raoul of orchestrating the whole event and claims that he has had an affair with Christine. The managers promise her that she will keep her leading role, and attempt to woo her back to the opera through extreme flattery ("Prima Donna"). At Il Muto that night, Carlotta indeed plays the role of the Countess; Christine is the mute pageboy. Raoul boldly decides to sit in Box Five to watch the show. The performance goes off according to plan ("Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh") until the Phantom appears on the proscenium arch. He taunts Carlotta and finally steals her voice, making her croak like a toad. She flees, hysterical, in Piangi's arms, and the managers promise that the show will resume with Christine as the Countess. The ballet chorus is sent out to entertain the waiting crowd, but their performance turns dark when their pastoral backdrop lifts to reveal the corpse of Joseph Buquet hanging from the rafters with a noose around his neck. In the ensuing melee, Christine finds Raoul and takes him to the roof where they will be safe.

On the roof, a terrified Christine tries to tell Raoul that she has seen the Phantom and been to his home ("Why Have You Brought Me Here?/Raoul, I've Been There"). Raoul does not believe her, but promises to love and protect her always ("All I Ask of You"). Christine returns his affection and the two make plans to see each other after the show. After Christine and Raoul head back downstairs, the Phantom emerges from behind a stone angel on the roof. It is apparent that he has heard the entire conversation. He is heartbroken over the loss of Christine, but eventually the sorrow turns to rage and he vows vengeance ("All I ask of You (Reprise)"). Returning to the theatre, he sends the chandelier crashing down on the stage during the curtain call. Raoul pulls Christine out of the way in the nick of time.


Act Two

The managers and company of the Opera converge on the grand staircase for a lavish New Year's masquerade ball ("Masquerade"). Christine and Raoul are now engaged. Christine insists on keeping this a secret and hides her ring on a necklace, to Raoul's dismay. At the height of the action, the Phantom enters, dressed as the title character from Edgar Allan Poe's The Masque of the Red Death. He announces that he has written an opera, and that he expects the managers to produce it ("Why So Silent...?"). He also confronts Christine and rips her engagement ring from her neck before disappearing. Raoul confronts Madame Giry and convinces her to tell him about the Phantom. She reveals a few key secrets, but will not divulge all she knows. The Phantom's opera, Don Juan Triumphant, causes chaos and arguments among the managers and actors. Christine, who has the largest part in the work, tells the managers she does not wish to perform. Raoul backs her, until he realizes that they can use the opera as a trap to capture the Phantom ("Notes/Twisted Every Way"). Meanwhile, the Phantom makes his presence known in the manager's office, the rehearsals and on the stage.

Christine visits her father's grave in Perros to try to make sense of the situation ("Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again"). The Phantom appears and sings to her ("Wandering Child"). The Phantom very nearly has her under his spell again when Raoul enters the scene and shakes Christine back to reality before she reaches the Phantom. The two men verbally spar, while the Phantom shoots fireballs down at Raoul, but Christine persuades Raoul to run away with her and ends the confrontation. Enraged, the Phantom declares that they are both his enemies now. With Raoul's preparations in place and the police on hand, Don Juan Triumphant begins ("Don Juan"). Christine, playing the lead opposite Piangi, appears onstage to sing ("Point of No Return"). Halfway through her duet with "Don Juan," she realizes she is actually singing with the Phantom and that Piangi must be dead. The Phantom gives her a ring and expresses his love. Christine responds by ripping his mask off. Before the police can intervene, the Phantom whisks Christine offstage. Chaos ensues. Piangi is discovered, and a mob sets out to track down the Phantom once and for all. Madame Giry finds Raoul, takes him to the bridge above the lake, and tells him where to find the Phantom. She warns him of the Punjab lasso, telling him to keep his "hand at the level of (his) eyes."

Down in the lair, the Phantom has forced Christine to put on the wedding dress. He intends to keep her as his bride, but notes that he has been "denied the joys of the flesh" ("Down Once More/Track Down This Murderer"). Raoul arrives, having swum across the lake. The Phantom admits him to the lair, and then snares him in the Punjab lasso. The Phantom offers Christine a choice: if she refuses his affections Raoul will die; if she accepts them, Raoul will live but she will be trapped there forever. In the denouement the three sing: the Phantom insisting that there is only one choice, Raoul apologizing and expressing his love for Christine, and Christine pleading with the Phantom to change his mind. Finally, Christine makes her choice and kisses the Phantom. Stunned by the kiss and touched by Christine's kindness, he sets Raoul free and tells him to take Christine away immediately. He asks them both to swear to keep his existence a secret. As Christine and Raoul leave, the music box begins to play. Christine returns alone, but only to return the Phantom's ring. He tells her that he loves her, and she forces herself to turn away. She and Raoul leave in the Phantom's boat, and he sits down in his chair, pulling his cape around himself. The mob arrives at the Phantom's lair, climbing down the portcullis. Meg slips through the bars in the gate and runs over to the Phantom's chair. Pulling back the cape, she discovers it empty, save for the Phantom's white mask


[website]

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20061203 00:25



i saw you there.
i kept quiet, smiling.
you walked away.
i stood there.
hoping you would turn back.
and say, "I HAD 134 UNITS OF INSULIN BCOZ YOU"

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥