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20061030
22:21
dear daryll, surf the net and looked for FA RU XUE. i found this.. "The music video begins somewhere in medieval China, portraying a respected warrior, and his lover, a beautiful maiden in red. The two lovers are shown embracing on a couch, with a maidservant pouring drinks in the background. As the video progresses, the warrior hears music being played by some other woman on the lower level of the building. He casts away the lady in red as he goes to seek the maiden playing music, who is contrastingly dressed in white. Then the warrior and the white lady are seen embracing, enjoying each other's company. A flashback occurs where we are shown that the lady in red, presumably jealous, poisons the white lady's tea. The white lady drinks the tea and dies in the warrior's arms. The warrior immediately suspects the red lady and makes an attempt to kill her with his sword, but he relents and she embraces him with tears in her eyes. During this portion, the video switches between shots of Jay singing, and shots of the actual story. The video then progresses ahead to modern day China. It shows the same warrior, but as a modern day business man, seemingly melancholy, although in the company of a girlfriend (the same girl as the red lady). He then enters an elevator on his way to work, and soon after, another business woman (the white lady) from the past enters as well. The man is struck by a sense of familiarity, the girl is as well, although they do not speak. When they exit the building, the man finds the courage to go up and talk to her, but right when he is about to, his current girlfriend arrives, keeping him from speaking with the girl, who then gets into her boyfriend's car. Both exchange one last glance, and the video ends." its so much like the romeo & juliet + another woman with a twist. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061029
00:10
dear daryll, last Fri, i walked to sch again. walk-walk. then, met my friends. so, we walked to sch together. reached LT. looked for any seats. sat beside Natlie again. then, realised the lecturer in front is an indian guy. im NOT racist or anything. just SHOCKED bcoz it shld be a chinese lady there mah.. plus, i dont recall him teaching us. mins later, he went out to get his thumbdrive and our REAL lecturer came in. damn dots. the male lecturer went to the wrong LT. blahblah. there's some technical probs so we had to stare at the book and try looking at our lecturer's FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. aft that, went for clinical pract. did some wound cleaning. damn tired. next, my friends and i went to look for our other lecturer to ask if thr any tut. suddenly, she say "CALL ALL YOUR FRIENDS TO GO UP. WE can HAVE IT NOW." smtg like that.. was totally speechless. anyway, we get to go home earlier.. then, walk bck hm. damn suay. got caught in the rain. bo bian lo. continue walk lo. ytd, went to AMKpolyclinic in the morn. my sis got CP. so, i go oso lo. temp frm 37.7 > 37.8 > 38.0 > 38.1 HIGH risk of CP. well, i got it now. 14 days at home. but, ppl kept visiting us. damn dots lah. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061026
22:45
dear daryll, walked to sch. reached LT. sat beside Natlie. had BIO II in morn for two hrs. gotta revise again during the weekends. so, pls remind me. aft sch, went to Blk E just to ask abt the ezlink card. have to go Hougang Central bus interchg or other 4/5 places. me & Natlie went to Hougang bcoz its the nearest. before tt, went to Natlie's place to take smtg. then, walked to the busstop near e AMK MRT station. we almost took bus 88. luckily, we took 74 to the place. suddenly, Natlie rmbed tt she left her NYP card at hm. actually, we dont really need the card. but, we need a passport photo. the lady in NYP told us tt we DONT NEED it. without any choices, we went to Hougang Mall to take the pic. its so damn bloody ex. $6.80 = 4 passport photo. damn dots. waited and waited for the photo to be ready. then, done making the ezlink cards we went bck to sch. it was raining heavily. shared umbrella w Natlie. very tired. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061025
22:32
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20061024
01:06
dear daryll, ytd was a bad day. i went berserk and assaulted someone. think bck, it felt horrible. felt like hurt myself for doing smtg such as what i did ytd. i hope the person would forgive me. there's so much hatred. been having thoughts of another prob is my mum. she keeps saying "IF IM NOT AROUND ANYMORE, you...." i feel so frustrated. anyway, its true what she always say. the family wont be able to survive if she were to leave before dad. if she were to leave, i dont know what will happen to me. aft the incident ytd, my siblings and i are drifting apart. guess, i deserve it again... he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061022
22:04
Christina Aguilera - Hurt Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face You told me how proud you were, but I walked away If only I knew what I know today Ooh, ooh I would hold you in my arms I would take the pain away Thank you for all you've done Forgive all your mistakes There's nothing I wouldn't do To hear your voice again Sometimes I wanna call you But I know you won't be there Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss And it's so hard to say goodbye When it comes to this, oooh Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? There's nothing I wouldn't do To have just one more chance To look into your eyes And see you looking back Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself, ohh If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you Since you've been away Ooh, it's dangerous It's so out of line To try and turn back time I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061018
22:02
dear daryll, its already the third day of the first week in the SEM II. quite tiring. finally, there's a sub that need the calculator. its a good thing coz i took E/A maths in sec sch. i studied damn hard for the A maths paper leh. frm F9 to B4 is very good lo. argh. missing my sec sch life. bittersweet memories. anyway, ytd i went to the E-PLAZA to register for my elect sub. stupid lah. no more place for CHINESE lang. damn suay. just login in, then NO MORE lo. sian. aft tt, email my didi. miss him lots. he's taking his 0s this yr. well, wish him all the BEST bah. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061015
02:24
he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061013
23:17
dear daryll, today is my dad's bday. another year. sometimes, i forget how he looks like. i would try to rmb but then, i would feel depressed. all i rmb was him telling me to cut his dry skin of right leg which was almost peeling off. thinking of his leg. i dont understand why. how did he "get" leg? overheard a conversation. the person was on the phone. talking about my late dad. its very hurtful. i dont think i can forget what the person said about my dad. you know, each time i rmbs it, i feel like crying. sometimes, i think about my mum, too. if she were to leave.. i dont think i can survive, which reminds me of the Thailand trip. i rmbed tt she called. i felt like crying upon hearing her voice. at times, i would stare her when she's aslp.. she looked so peaceful. i feel calm and contented, looking at her. anyway, today i received a letter from SGH. i got the sponsorship unless i agree and reply them by ASAP. i was kinda glad. guess, miracles do happen. then, i told my mum. she asked me if i can make it. i feel a bit disappointed and confused. i expect my mum to have some faith in me. believe in me and not ask that question. i really dont know what to do. to be honest, i really need the cash for sch and myself. but.. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061012
22:33
dear daryll, i dont understand why i feel sad. maybe bcoz of smtg. separation. its like a repeated feeling. as if i felt this way before. well, its horrible. aft that i rmbed that i did smtg. but now.. im trying to stop it. it hurts, you know. i just couldnt understand why im bothered by it. right now, i feel slightly better aft crying. IM OKAY for now anyway, today i went to buy my SEM II books w WeiWen. then, went to meet Kel to go to KyouUn's hse. she wants us to teach her to play the flute. actually, she can really play. so there's isnt much of teaching xcept giving her tips to make a clearer sound on the high notes. most of time, kel and i were talking abt the different brands of flutes and our past in CBSS. bittersweet memories. how i wish that i can pause at the fun times w had and fastforward at the sad, depressing moments.. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061011
23:09
dear daryll, i just read some of the past entries i posted in this very blog. how pathetic. just realised how foolish i was in the past. i was sec 3. such an imbecile. made a lot of unforgivable mistakes. i cant deny about right now either. im still doing stupid things that hurt others. sometimes, i wonder why i never cut myself to death straight away. the scars. i will never forget what i did. my actions forced her to cut herself. so, i did to feel it too. the pain was unbearable. then, i felt the sense of fulfilment. as if i did something so great. but, it ended up hurting others; my family, friends, her & myself. im sorry. right now, i feel contented. life seems to suffice. bcoz i always remind myself that "you cant lose what you never had" he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061009
17:07
LANDON PIGG - cant let go Well you're the closest thing I have To bring up in a conversation About a love that didnt last But I could never call you mine Cause I could never call myself yours And if we were really meant to be Well then we justify destiny Its not that our love died Just never really bloomed Well I cant let go No, I cant let go of you You're holding me back without even trying to. I cant let go I cant move on from the past Without lifting a finger youre holding me back. And then we saw our paths diverge And I guess I felt OK about it. Until you got with another man, And then I couldnt understand Why it bothered me so. How we didnt die we just Never had a chance to grow. I cant let go No, I cant let go of you You're holding me back without even trying to. I cant let go I cant move on from the past. Without lifting a finger youre holding me back. And it might not make much sense To you or any of my friends Though somehow still you affect the Things I do. And you cant lose what you never had I dont understand why I feel sad Every time I see you out with someone new. I cant let go No, I cant let go No, I cant let go of you. I cant let go No, I cant let go of you Youre holding me back without even trying to. I cant let go I cant move on from the past Without lifting a finger youre holding me back. I cant let go No, I cant let go of you Youre holding me back without even trying to. I cant let go I cant move on from the past he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061007
19:35
 he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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13:30
dear daryll, why do i always hurt the ones i love? they mean a lot to me, you know. i always try to be perfect for them. in the end, it hurt them the most. there is someone whom im missing right now. i hurt the person over and over again. just like i did to my own family. you know, for the last few days i have been trying to fake at im happy. had some occasional crying when i think about it. hurting them while i thought it would make them happy. sometimes, i feel like giving up. just hide in my room and avoid everything that hurts. that's what i have been doing for the past few days. they say love shouldnt have too many SORRYS, bcoz love shouldnt HURT. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061006
12:12
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20061005
15:38
he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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13:36
dear daryll, last night, i watch the 10PM show on Chl U. its a must-watch. its a NEW strange tale. about demons and mortals. i missed the first few 15mins. anyway, i rmbed tt thr is a white demon snake (XUE`ER) want to elope with her lover (SANTAI) who is a mortal. IT'S NOT 'MADAM WHITE SNAKE' WOR. bck to the story, both lovers love each other very very much. DUH~ but, the "LAOLAO" dont let lo. LAOLAO, which is another demon, more stronger than XUE`ER mah. then, both lovers die lo. killed by LAOLAO. it reminded me of the qn DANIEL ONG asked on the radio. "ARE YOU WILLING TO LIVE WITH & TAKE CARE OF THAT PERSON UNTIL HE/SHE OLD?" smtg like tt.. cant rmb it all. anyway, he continued "IF YOU ARE, THAT MEANS YOU'RE IN LOVE". hmm... btw, just realised that ytd was 041006. haiz.. they never call or msg me at all. i guess i didnt get the sponsorship. anyway, its expected bah. WHO WOULD WANT TO HIRE ME? im so stupid. it must be MY RESULTS. both 0lvl & nyp. the nurse manager's words still ringing in my mind.. "YOU THINK ITS EASY TO GET ADV. DIP.? YOU HAVE TO WORK VERY HARD.." haiz. btw, IVAN LOH is still in the 987 Control DJ championship. good lo. fyi, he's my PSYCHOLOGY LECTURER. he rawks & quite shuai bah.. but, not in this pic.
he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥
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20061004
20:42
dear daryll, you must be asking yourself.. "WHAT'S UP WITH THE 'dear daryll'?" well, i thought its COOL to name your own blog. yeah! why i chose 'daryll' you ask? umm.. i dont know why. i like the way this name is pronounce: 'DER-RIL' anyway, the last few days SUCKS BIG TIME. so, i didnt bother to blog. got ANGRY and then, BREAK something which is within reach. btw, last Sat i went to SGH for interview. wanna get the sponsorship frm the hospital. if i get the sponsorship; 01. more pay than those not bonded 02. dont hv to MA FAN my mum 03. more $$ to buy things i need/want 04. a secure job in the future i screwed the interview. no confidence. it'll be a MIRACLE if i get the sponsorship. haiz. he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥ |
