dear daryll,


part of a conversation

.-------------------------------.

Session Start: Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Participants: RN & XX


XX: did i say anything wrong in the sms?
RN: no
XX: then?
XX: why do you sound cold to me?
RN: no
XX: i know you well. its obvious.

XX: the fact that you dont care?
XX: is it that?
RN: nevermind
XX: WHAT?!?!?!
RN: its okay.
XX: pls.. dun make me angry..

XX: listen to me first, will you?
XX: hear me out.
RN: its realyy okay
XX: im just frustrated at the fact that each time i wanna go out with you, something wld always crop up at the last min.
XX: and it wld be cancelled in the end.
RN: its okay
XX: stop being like this..
RN: its okay. really.
XX: i've always listened to you.
XX: for once.. hear me speak too

RN: its okay for whatever you gonna say
XX: will you care?
XX: with whatever words i said.
RN: its okay.
XX: STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
XX: WILL YOU CARE FOR ONCE?!
XX: PLS!
RN: its okay.. it'll be all right
XX: im not okay
RN: it'll be ok
XX: it'll be ok..
XX: it'll be ok..
XX: it'll be ok..
RN: when im positive, its wrong
RN: when im negative, its wrong
RN: what shld i do?
XX: nono. you are not wrong.
XX: stay the way you are.

XX: im really confused.
XX: i was upset that we cldnt go. but yet, nothing crops up when you go to concerts with your other friends.
XX: at the same time, i have to be understanding too. about your pain and project.
RN: no
RN: i hate thiss
XX: whichever way i did, its wrong.
XX: and you started being cold without a reason.

XX: which part of me is wrong?
XX: for being selfish or for being understanding?
RN: see.
XX: you wont tell me.
RN: its always my fault
XX: read my statements carefully
RN: no
XX: im blaming myself, not you.
RN: i blame myself
RN: i realise that im that smtg had makes you blue


.-------------------------------.

Session Start: Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Participants: RN & XX


RN: oh ok
RN: be lo
XX: what a reply..
RN: what?
XX: you dun sound enthu at all.
RN: what can i say?
XX: nothing..
RN: loll
XX: talk to me if you feel like it.

XX: its just the feeling..
XX: when i always get short replies.
XX: sorry.
XX: or was i just being too paranoid.. ?
RN: its up to you.
XX: its about the way you reply me..
RN: im sorry.
RN: its my fault
XX: its okay..
XX: im sorry for disturbing you..
RN: if im upsetting you, you can tell me
XX: no.. maybe i was too paranoid..


.-------------------------------.

Session Start: Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Participants: RN & XX


XX: you always ask "why" each time i ask a qns.
RN: why do you need to know?
XX: coz im..
RN: ??
XX: is it wrong for me to know?
RN: nevermind.
XX: " why do you need to know? "
XX: i was about to answer..
XX: sorry for asking. shld have probably knows that its none of my business.

XX: im wrong to be concern
XX: wrong to ask.
X: everything's wrong.
RN: no lah
RN: im sorry
RN: its my fault.
RN: let's make it that way
XX: you're angry.

RN: its my fault
RN: you said: "can you dun treat me this way?"
RN: its my fault mah
RN: i shld be the one saying sorry
RN: im sorry, _____
XX: it has been my fault since the beginning of the conversation.
RN: i treat you in a way you dont like.
XX: i was already wrong when i started talking to you in the first place.


.-------------------------------.

Session Start: Thursday, August 17, 2006
Participants: RN & XX


XX: rinna.. other than family members, is there other any important ppl in your life?
RN: family, friends and future clients
XX: you know..
XX: i dreamt about you two days ago.
RN: oh.
RN: still im a friend
XX: guess whether its a gd or bad dream?
RN: be it good or bad.. i dont mind
XX: it was good.
RN: ok.
RN: dreams are better kept to yourself
RN: esp. good ones
XX: do you think it will come true?
RN: guess.. you shld ask it yourself since you're the only one who knows it.
XX: you hugged me in the dream
RN: its better kept to yourself
XX: i know you dont care
XX: i know that you dont want to know.
XX: rite?
RN: haiz..
XX: the dream meant a lot to me.
RN: ...
XX: i wonder whether it will happen.
XX: whether its a miracle.
RN: nvm...
RN: cld you leave me alone...?

RN: for your bday.
RN: dont bother asking me out.
RN: im not free
XX: rinna.. ?
RN: tell you now so that it wont hurt later.
XX: really..
XX: do you realise how cold you are to me these few days?
RN: im not being cold.
RN: last few days, i didnt talk to you.
XX: you were never like this.
XX: what happened to you?
RN: im not being cold.
XX: "for your bdae. dun bother asking me out. im not free"
XX: whats this?
RN : its true.
XX: even if its true. you dun have to use that kind of tone.
RN: im sorry..

XX: what you did was really bad..
XX: i wish i cld ask God what really happened to you.
RN: ...
XX: stop typing the "......."
XX: pls.. do some soul searching. and think about it.
XX: i really care for you. but you dun seem to care.
XX: among all the ppl i care and love..
XX: you are the one who hurt me most.
XX: i tried talking to you nicely over the past conversations..
XX: but your tone still havent changed.
XX: maybe you didnt realise you werent cold.. coz you might have got used to it.
RN: will you let me go?


*everything is edited due to some personal reasons

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥