dear daryll,


woke up. heard my eldest sis kept screaming. loll. my niece was wasting precious time. hmm.. aft tt, i think i.. cant rmb. damn. whatever it is, it not important. well, as usual my mum wld nag at my second sis. hmm.. i dont knw what to say. totally speechless. there's miscommunication with me and my youngest sis. its sad though. i tried to help but she shun me away. felt like crying. haiz.. why? i dont knw. i think it must be me. i still rmb what she said to me the other day. those words pierced my heart like a dagger. it goes smtg like this, "YOU THINK YOU'RE AN ADVISER BUT ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT !!" haiz.. sometimes, i feel like giving up. how i wish i hv a shoulder to cry on now.... well, i skipped breakfast, lunch and dinner. direct hit ! haha. stupid. but i ate my supper coz i felt SUPER hungry. hmm.. i wonder if i shld go to BAND tml or on Fri. i promised Justin that i'll cm before April. loll.

what i learnt? ppl assume when they dont knw the REAL TRUTH. sometimes their assumptions hurts or made them paranoid. gosh. i rmb abt herr op. haiz... hope tt she is doing fine. i felt bad. haiz..


From:
To: rinna_oi@hotmail.com
Date: Sat, 11 Mar 2006 03:21:21 +0000


rinna.

_____ donno dat i send u tis email. just want to say... i hope u can change ur decision. wat u did is very wrong. it's not de best way. plz. it will worsen her condition. and she haf no one else other than u. rinna. plz. she even want to beg u ytd but u still reject her. are u really happier now? u realli broke her heart and its a torture seeing her in tis state. do u noe? u have juz ruined her happiness into going poly. actualli she was attracted to join the symphony orchestra and she wanted to tell u. so at least both of u could meet once a week. but this happened. tell me. what haf she done till u can't forgive her and have to let her go? wat makes u tink it will make her happier? she had cried for four nights continuously and if this go on, her condition will really worsen. do u want to see her dead? where have ur deep sisterly love for her gone to? true sisters will bear all the pain and hardship together no matter what happens. she realli loves u a lot. but y can't u see it? u shld noe dat... its not easy.. for a sister's love to be taken away from an only child. coz they appreciate tis love more than both of us who had siblings. other than parents, at least they knew they could count and share their probs with someone who's family.

i noe.. its not easy for u. some ppl wan to be wit her and even plan to separate both of u. but u can never be replaced. u kip wanting to noe y she was hurt when u like someone? the reason is. like i said, when u are obessed in something or someone, u wld tend to forget others. but no matter how much u hurt her, she would still forgive u. and let me tell u. do stop tinking dat u haf ruined her life for 4 yrs. u didnt. rmb how i kip thanking u? i appreciate it very much dat u became her sis. she can never bear to let u go. trust me. she is like a living zombie now. rina. do give it some thought and start afresh. both of u are goin to a same new sch. leave behind all the unhappy memories in cbss. plz. she really need you at this point of time. u cant take back ur words but u shldnt take back ur promise. plz. accept her back for my sake and her condition. i m really begging u now. plz. its not too late. i just don wan anything to happen to her later. i noe this is really up to u. this is my final begging. i won't beg u anymore after this. but plz, plz, plz. think about it.

-


From:
To: rinna_oi@hotmail.com
Date: Mon, 27 Mar 2006 13:25:06 +0000


rinna..

when i phoned you the other day, i have so much to say to you. but you didnt gave me a chance to. you were so eager to hang up the phone on me. i know that you are avoiding me. saying that you are very busy.till you have no time for me at all. you dun wanna chat with me over the phone or online. you deleted your blog and friendster. i cant think of any other ways to communicate with you other than sending you this email. maybe you dun wanna talk to me anymore. but do spare me some time and hear me out for my sake..

i know you are sick of hearing this. but what i wanted to say is.. im really sorry. like they said, we tend to hurt the ones whom we love most. and i think i just did. i suffered so much in the past that i actually forgot that you were suffering too. i was hurt and i didnt spare a thought for your feelings either. it was partly my fault. if i could, i wanna erase all those unhappy and painful memories in me. i have my family, friends and teacher. but you're my one and only sister which i have in this life. you are forever a part of me. and without you, im incomplete.

each time, when im sick, you wld nag at me and reminds me to eat my medicines. now when im sick, i couldnt hear you no more. people are right when they said " we would only know how to treasure what we have till we lose them. i realise.. we quarrelled a lot for the past four years. and its amazing that we still stick close to each other despite that fact. there are times when we almost let each other go, but failed. coz i know i can never afford to lose you.

rinna.. if you really are busy till sch reopens, i wun disturb you. do take care of yourself. dun forget to eat and sleep early. i miss you and love you lots sis.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥