today. nth mch. dont know what i did. lots of things in my mind right now. abt my family and her and smtg else. i dont know what to do. ytd. i got a letter frm my bestfriend in pri sch. i really do miss her. miss those times.. so ignorant and naive. wonder if its better tt way. now, i starts to feel very sad and hopeless.. umm.. aft recalling all those damn things i did to everyone. my mum, siblings and her. im sorry. im really sorry. haiz. i dont know how to tell them this. i dont know. i cant seem to xpress this feeling. i really do love them a lot. i really do. i feel like crying now. but, my elder sis is here. so, cannot larhs. haha. i rmb e times she ran away. the times. i really did cried. you know..? nvm. i cant seem to say it. mayb i hv promised to myself not to tell anyone whats really in my mind.. well, it can b hurtful.. well, forget it. i dont knw. so confused. kinda tired. its been a long time i blog like this. i really miss talking to my pet tortoise. the tortoise which was bought by my own father. it was when i were in pri4. abt six yrs yah? so long.. its grown so big. i feel so proud for it. i love it. i used to kiss it everyday. miss those times. well, now it has a friend. it doesnt need me now. mayb to feed it bahs. haha. i feel so alone. actually, im not PHYSICALLY alone though. haiz. i miss my own dad. i really do miss him. he use to call my name to msg his leg or cut e skin of his leg.. coz of his leg, he was afraid of doctors.. actually, coz e doctors told him tt they wanted to cut his leg. damn them! haiz. bcoz of him, im inspired to b a doctor. hmm. dont know if i shld carry on.. im listening to e "If you're NOT the one - Daniel Beddingfield" so nice.. haiz.. pissed off my younger sis. no! mayb its me. fck!

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥