☮ 20050720 01:01


From : Nur Asyikin Rashid
Sent : Sunday, July 17, 2005 5:28:26 PM
To : rinna_oi@hotmail.com

sorry. forgot to update you! too long

150705

during my three periods of eng lessons, i changed my seats and moved to another group. just to avoid weiwen and pei xuan. bcoz i know they would keep talking about band and the monfort boys. unfortunately, they also changed their seating position and sat beside me. sighs. so they start their chinese conversation which they thought i wouldnt be able to understand. i remained very quiet and keep telling myself to concentrate in class. but couldnt. they started mentioning names like ah'da, kelvin, her, didi. after saying timothy's name, they would turn at me and laugh non-stop. they tested my patience by doing that repeatedly. my hands were trembling that i almost feel like laying my hand on their faces. so what if rinna is with them? earn a gold for syf. so what? big deal ar? hahh. for a moment, i forgot they were my friends. all along i know them as heartless and selfish band freaks who only care about themselves. totally engrossed and mind corrupted with the monfort guys. well. it was sad knowing that rinna hangs out with them. each time i see them, my blood boils. they were the first ppl who blamed me for her cuts. anyway, it was my fault. and it reminds me of the most fcuking day ever [010705]. rinna went home with them. on the very same night, she scolded me with harsh words. i felt so bloody hurt. will rinna ever dare to same those same words to her other godsiblings? um. i dun think so. i almost couldnt recognise her in the phone conversation and felt as if she was already a part of them. but she's my sister. how could i hate her and forget our motto? the 3Fs. i dun wanna cry. i really want to forget. so.. after sch i went home straight. i purposely ate my medicines twice the amount. altogether 8 pills. painkillers. im overdose. it made me really drowsy. i didnt think of anything. i even forgot that i had LC in the afternoon. when i return to sch, i felt so sleepy but tried to act normal. im scared.. will rinna really leave me to be with them?

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥