☮ 20050430 21:27


hEy you.
today. theresnoMendakicostmlLaboursDay. yea. um. gotovisitmyfather. um. then, wenttoJurongPoint. eatandeat. well. idingetwhatiwant. well. idinwanttoeatactually. iwantedaNEWbag. thebillabogbag. sameasumm andherr. haiz. no$$. haiz. then, gothomestaredblanklyontheceiling. switchedontheradio andlistened. MRLONELY!! ahh! imsolonely. then, gopray. then, staredtheceilingagain. um. then, reachedfortherubbingalcohol. ialmostdrinkit. thewarmpluscooling sensationonmytongue mademerealisedwhatihavedone. quickly, iwenttowashmymouth. ireallydunnowhy. justnow. ireadthesisblog. itotiwillbefine. but. when, herronline. she keptaskingmequestions. ihateit. ihatetalkingeverythingabtme. ihatemyself. iknow. shessick. but. imsorry. now. shesaid"let it out to me if u can't take it.." youknowihowmuchiHATE peoplesacrificingthemselvestome?!? iHATEit. imjustanotherhuman. ihatethefeelingofbeingsoGREAT. iHATEit.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050429 21:55


hEy you.
um. todayhadMTmocktest. sian. okiae. itotofgoingforremedial. butmumwanttomeetdad. intheend, never. haiz. um. metkelandmeimei@CBmrt. theywerebuyingfoodbefore startstudyingwithlooishandKC. um. canseettherrwasupset. shewalkedaway. icaughtupwithherr. um. well. now. online. herrkeptthinkingof thephraseicreatemyself. whycarnyouall allowmetobemyself? ireallyfeelsotrapped. nofreedomatall. imdoingitforthesakeofdoingit.

now and forever, i'll be there with you but no longer in front of you.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050428 18:18


hEy you.
um. todaywasokiae. um. idingotoChangiyesterday. sotired. wassosickman. um. blah. blah. triedtostudy. cannotbah. okiae. wasinpain. wheneverimalone, thinkingofumm, icouldfeelthat ummwasstill worriedabtme. imsorry. um. haiz. icouldstillremember whathappenedonmon. um. meimeiarrangeameeting. um. idunnoaboutit. um. well. wewerespeechless. saidnothingatfirst. um. then, attheplayground. itriedtotalktoumm. well. dunno. allicouldrememberwas kelcalledmeaVIXENinchinese. bloodykel. haa! um. well. actually, somethinghappenedwithmeandherr. sheleftme. um. well. icriedwheniwas withkelandthem. goodthingthattheydinrealised. well. the radioplayedAlmostHere. thesonghasalotofmeanings. haiz. um. sobacktowhathappenedtoday. everythingwasbad. soitriedto makeitbetterby justputting theSTUPIDproblemsbehind. ihopeitwillbebettertml. tml, maybewegoingtoseemydad. um. ihavntgotherefor quitesometime. haiz. tml, stillgotMTmockpaper. haiz. nextweek, MYE. haiz. then, BANDresumes. 19Mayo5. um. 23Mayo5, Lengbday. itsonaMon. wahha! getreadyto"KIMOTAE"Lengsan. wahha! imgonnatelltheMontfortguys. haa! btw, meimeibdayishon12Mayo5. wahha. idunnowhattogetforher. haiz. then, 31Mayo5. MTolevels. fear. ithinkimgonnasweatlikeHELL! haiz. eh? wahh! today, itypealot. um. okiaez. iloveherr. ilovemygodsiblingstoo. iloveMYFAMILYofcourse! andd. imlovingbluecolorsoverymuchie.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050426 22:23


First Love (English ver)

once in awhile
you are in my mind
i think about the days that we've had
and i dream that this would all come back to me

if only you knew every moment in time
nothing goes on in my heart (?)
just like your memories
how i long here to be with you once more

you will always gonna be the one
and you should know
how i wish i could have never let you go
come into my life again
oh dont say no

you will always gonna be the one
in my life
so true
i believe i can never find
somebody like you
my first love

once in awhile
you are in my dreams
i can feel the warmth of your embrace
and i pray that one day you'll come back to me

if only you knew every moment in time
nothing goes on in my heart
just like your memories
how i long here to be with you once more

you will always be inside my heart
and you should know
how i wish i could have never let you go
come into my life again
please dont say no

now and forever
you were still the one
in my heart
so true
i believe i can never find
somebody like you
my first love

you will always gonna be the one
and you should know
how i wish i could have never let you go
come into my life again
oh dont say no

you will always gonna be the one
so true
i believe i can never find

now and forever

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 21:41


Eyes One Me

Whenever sang my songs,
On the stage, on my own,
Whenever said my words,
Wishing they would be heard,
I saw you smiling at me,
Was it real? Or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner,
Of this tiny little bar.

My last night here for you,
Same old songs just once more,
My last night here with you?
Mayber yes, maybe no.
I kinda liked it your way,
How you shyly placed your eyes on me,
Did you ever know?
That I had mine on you.

*Darling so there you are,
With that look on your face,
As if you're never hurt,
As if you're never down,
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinces you softly but sure,
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer.

So let me come to you,
Close as I wanna be,
Close enough for me,
To feel your heart beating fast,
And stay there as whisper,
How I loved your peacful eyes on me,
Did you ever know?
That I had mine on you.

Darling so share with me,
Your love if you have enough,
Or tears if you're holding back,
Or pain if that's what it is,
How can I let you know?
I'm more than the dress and the voice,
Just reach me out then,
You will know that you are not dreaming.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050423 22:19


hEy you.
um. todaygotscoldedmyLeng. playedbadlyfortheparade. um. nolahh. cozeveryonewas stillinblurmood. metoo. um. then, boughtbubbletea. um. idunsharemystrawwithher. well, idrankherbubbleteatoo. withMYSTRAWwor. haa! ifshare, idunnoarh. well. gothome. wastealoftime. thinkingagain. calledsomeone. um. nothing. then, takealongcoldshower. then, online. chattanddoamathz atthesametime. soproyarr? haa! um. firstlove. thesongiplayedontheflute andloveditsomuch. haiz. missthosetimes. wannaplayfirstlovebeforeileave. haiz.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050422 20:48


hEy you.
solongnebberblog. haiz. um. todaywasallright. criedcoz. herinjury. allmyfault. then, afterschiwenttobandrm. idinplay. itotofdoingmywork. then, shewannatalktome. sotalkandtalk. ihurtheragain. imsorry. isentherhome. ihitmyhead3timescozifeltbad. cozofherinjury. haiz. imsorry. yesterday.

4/22/2005 2:02:29 AM TiMmi y r we like always the same these days
4/22/2005 2:02:32 AM riNna today, i was in pain..
4/22/2005 2:02:49 AM riNNa i told no one except u
4/22/2005 2:03:04 AM TiMmi don be
4/22/2005 2:03:09 AM TiMmi actually
4/22/2005 2:03:16 AM TiMmi i was aching becus of the nafa
4/22/2005 2:03:33 AM TiMmi but ur pain is in ur heart rite?
4/22/2005 2:04:08 AM riNna my stomach.
4/22/2005 2:04:19 AM TiMmi oso physical
4/22/2005 2:04:21 AM TiMmi omg
4/22/2005 2:04:24 AM riNna and ripcage
4/22/2005 2:04:42 AM TiMmi i really feel somethings fishy
4/22/2005 2:05:00 AM TiMmi do u?
4/22/2005 2:05:14 AM riNna what do u mean?
4/22/2005 2:05:36 AM TiMmi y r we feeling the same things
4/22/2005 2:05:49 AM riNna i dunno...
4/22/2005 2:06:05 AM riNna really.. why?
4/22/2005 2:06:16 AM TiMmi y
4/22/2005 2:06:21 AM TiMmi sths not rite
4/22/2005 2:06:47 AM riNna yes..
4/22/2005 2:07:33 AM riNna when im in pain i tot of u.
4/22/2005 2:07:58 AM TiMmi oh gosh
4/22/2005 2:08:11 AM TiMmi y izit the same again?
4/22/2005 2:08:17 AM riNna u too?
4/22/2005 2:08:49 AM riNna during band... worse..
4/22/2005 2:09:23 AM riNna i felt you sitting where u sat on Wed when u came
4/22/2005 2:09:36 AM riNna the strange feeling.
4/22/2005 2:10:11 AM TiMmi u missed me? i was thinking of u the whole day...
4/22/2005 2:10:24 AM TiMmi even during lessons
4/22/2005 2:10:25 AM TiMmi almost all the time
4/22/2005 2:10:27 AM riNna gosh.
4/22/2005 2:10:33 AM riNna me too
4/22/2005 2:10:56 AM riNna is God playing a fool of us?
4/22/2005 2:11:05 AM TiMmi donno leh
4/22/2005 2:12:00 AM riNna i dunno.. today, i hv a lot to say..
4/22/2005 2:12:08 AM riNna but i dunno how..
4/22/2005 2:12:22 AM TiMmi y izit always the same?!?!?
4/22/2005 2:12:33 AM riNna what?
4/22/2005 2:13:53 AM riNna can u conc. during lessons?
4/22/2005 2:14:06 AM TiMmi no
4/22/2005 2:14:14 AM riNna me too.
4/22/2005 2:15:09 AM riNna something is going on.
4/22/2005 2:16:10 AM TiMmi but wat izit
4/22/2005 2:16:45 AM riNna i dunno...
4/22/2005 2:17:17 AM riNna my heart beats irregularly whenu came the other day..
4/22/2005 2:17:24 AM TiMmi omg
4/22/2005 2:17:30 AM TiMmi don continue
4/22/2005 2:17:33 AM TiMmi i not prepared
4/22/2005 2:17:40 AM riNna no way
4/22/2005 2:17:54 AM riNna i carn.
4/22/2005 2:17:59 AM TiMmi we carn
4/22/2005 2:18:37 AM riNna but how to stop all this.
4/22/2005 2:18:53 AM TiMmi i donno
4/22/2005 2:19:09 AM TiMmi ive no experience
4/22/2005 2:19:25 AM riNna what about me?
4/22/2005 2:19:55 AM TiMmi i dono
4/22/2005 2:19:55 AM TiMmi omg.....
4/22/2005 2:19:55 AM TiMmi wat shd we do now
4/22/2005 2:20:06 AM riNna how would i know...
4/22/2005 2:20:19 AM TiMmi erm
4/22/2005 2:20:33 AM TiMmi i don think this is happening
4/22/2005 2:20:41 AM TiMmi wat u think
4/22/2005 2:20:47 AM TiMmi r we dreaming or sth?
4/22/2005 2:20:54 AM riNna its not.. just imagination..
4/22/2005 2:20:59 AM TiMmi yes
4/22/2005 2:21:03 AM TiMmi imagination
4/22/2005 2:21:04 AM riNna i pinch myself
4/22/2005 2:21:09 AM TiMmi ok
4/22/2005 2:21:14 AM riNna it hurts
4/22/2005 2:21:20 AM TiMmi lets stop imaginating things

whatishappening? um. thename. keptringingfromorntilnow. williteverstop?

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050420 21:12


hey. rasyidah here. what is happening to u and ikin? i am aware u both break the sister ship because i read the chat logs. tell u what. she is really not okae at home. she is not eating and not responding to what other people say. then, she go and use the penknife to hurt herself. if u don believe u go and see her left hand tomorrow. erm just now sharina want to meet ikin and she agree to meet her. so, i followed ikin from behind. i heard all their conversation. sharina go and torture her again. kick her stomach a few times until ikin lay flat on the ground. u know what ikin say to her? she ask sharina to continue venting her angers on her as much as she want so she wont disturb u nor her anymore. but ikin didn't say u both already break the sister ship. when i talk to sharina on the phone after she reach home, she said she felt guilty after what she did to ikin. she promise not to try break the both of u again. u see. ikin is willing to take the pain for u.hey rinna. think about it again. i don think ikin want to break unintentionally and i don think she could accept it herself. if u still love her, take her back as your godsister. she really needs u by her side to continue living.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050418 21:56


hEy you.
um. today. gotengremedial. then, malaymocktest. idingettogotoMontfort. haiz. um. heardttLengscoldedthem. wahh. um. imsostupid. iwaitedatthebusstop. for1wholehour. wahh. skirt. ahh. gosh. somalu. wahh. haiz. iwanttoseehim. idunwanttomeethim. coziwillforgetwhattosay. haiz. amiinl? no. icarn. hesmydidi. haiz. imsorry.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050417 00:01


hEy you.
um. cameacrossaniceblog. http://shatteredd-.blogspot.com um. theonlyoneisnice. um. thesisters. Shabeather. jealousbecozofme. idunno. ifeelsobad. myfault. ishouldihvgonetotgps. um. sostupid. haiz. stillgotmalayhomework. sotired. listenedtomyonlyone. byyellowcard. um. Awieborrowedanicebook. um gonnareaditonmon. yea. poems. shesmyonlyone. but. whyyouarethinking thatyouareNOT myonlyone? nebbermind. imsorry. imstupid. haiz. sleepy. natsaidthanks. heosogotheadache. ifeelsobrokenup.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050416 19:47


hEy you.
um. today. nothing. ithinkimgoingto havesorethroat. thecough. imnotgettingwell. whattheshit? haiz. changedtheblog. soblueyarr? haha. ilovebluecolormah. okiaez. havetostartonmy homeworklerr. kiae. um. imustbetall. yea. whathedotz? whaha. um. toohurt untilsiaoz. haha.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 15:00


hEy you.
solongineberblogyar. um. summarytime! haha. um. onmonwasMontfortSYF. um. theydingetwhattheywanted. haiz. nebbermind. um. whatiwanttosayarh? ohyah. yesterday. wasChongBoonSYF. um. gotit. yea. Au. yea. wegotAu. andnotAg. yea. sohappy. beforetheSYF. istayedatherhouse. soniceofthemum. isleptonherbed. haha. feltbadthough. hmm. btw, wenttoMontfort. methim. gavehimsomething. kelsaidsomestupidthings. tommymadeusmissabout fivebusesthatgoestoAMK. yep. afterheleftus, wewalkedtothefunfair thatwasaroungthere. um. nothingmuchthough. walkandwalk. haiz. thefirstqnheasked. haiz. allright. igiveup. um. gotonthe88bus. stoppedatthe7/11busstop. kelbroughtmilkforme. andgotthebuswithtommy. bus268. satbesidehim. um. hetalkedandtalked. mymindwaselsewhere. sorryworr. dunnowhathesaidwhen itoldhimtotakecare beforeigotoffthebus. blurr. well. todaywasfine. ohyah. yesterday. haiz. her. calledwheniwasannoyedbyAmira. sorryagain. icanstandherstupidcryingandsinging. haiz. shebroughtaiskacangtoo. hmm. backagaintotoday. everythingwasokiae. toldtheteacherthaticarngo forMendakinextweek. gotSpeeechDae. um. sotired. ithinkistopherrebah.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050411 18:46


imsomeone.
whoisimperfect.
incrediblyignorant.
and.
withthoughtslikeotherhumanbeings.
inthiscruelLife.
weaccidentallyhurteachother.
forstupidreasons.
usually.
becausewearenotthesame.
ormaybe.
wearenotperfectenough.
butwhy?
whywehavetobeangryorhurtbecauseofthat?
nohumanbeingisbornperfect.
isthistrulywhatisLifefor?
whydoesGodgiveusthisLife?
isittobehurtorsufferedbyoneanother?
imjustsomeone.
whoisinfamous.
anobodywonderingaboutthiscruelLife.
still.
iwonderedwhyGodhavetogiveusLifeandtakeitback.
idontunderstand.
idontknowwhy.
really.
isthereareasonwhy?

- riNna.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 18:45


im a nobody who is

cheery. desolate. exciting. lame. emotional.
reserved. boisterous. impudent. amiable.
sympathetic. callous. lethargic. enthusiastic.

and thatsme, riNna !

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 18:38


hEy you.
today. imstillsickk. todayMontfortSYF. iwishedhimafewminutesheclickedSIGNOUT. um. heardfromahda. hecried. um. imsorry. ifeelsobad. todayidingotothextraBandprac. shewassoworried. cozimsickk. haiz. someonesaidthaticarnplayunlessmysorethroatisbetter. soidingo. abitdisappointed. Shakeptbotheringme. shewanther. whatcanido? shedunwanther. haiz. really. iwanttobealoneonefineday. reallyfocusontheSYFpiece. andnomoreworries. haiz. imsorry. imstucck. idinknowthatimsodumb. sostupid.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050410 17:13


hEy you.
um. today. stillsick. um. yesterdayicriedreallybadly. thesistersrelationship. cried. tillmyripcagehurts. really. idunwantthistoaffectmySYF. tmlgonnabeMontfortsSYF. wishedgoodlucktoNat. mynewdidi. um. askedhimabt. um. thepersonalsosick. um. idunno. ineverdaretotalkto. haiz. dunnowhy. imscared. abtSYF. abtlovetoo. imscared. meandmysis. ourrelationshipisso. idunno. haiz. lovedestorysitself. abtwhy? whyGodcreatelove? whycreatesomethingthatdestoryitself? imconfused. imstillsick. ireallywanttheGold. but. ihvtobecarefulwithmysis. haiz. imconfused. ihopetmlwillbeabetterday. andhopeMontfortBandwillgetaGOLD. andmysiswillbeallright.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050407 21:32


hEy you.
todaymustbethesaddestinmylife. criedduringBand. xiao. um. theresnothingmuch. imsick. sneezedtwice. idunnowhatsthereformetomolo. morepain. soonseparation? no! icarnbe. ilovemysister. butmyface. ialmostclimbthethingy. butPansawme. itotmaybeiletthewindpushme. haiz.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050406 20:19


Sonnet 43

Howdoiloveyou? Letmecounttheways.
Ilovetheetothedepthandbreadthandheight
Mysoulcanreach, whenfeelingoutofsight
Fortheendsofbeingandidealgrace.
Ilovetheetothelevelofeveryday's
Mostquietneed, bysunandcandlelight.
Ilovetheefreely, asmenstriveforright;
Ilovetheepurely, astheyturnfromptaise.
Ilovetheewiththepassionputtouse
Inmyoldgriefs, andwithmychildhood'sfaith.
IlovetheewithaloveIseemedtolose
Withmyloststains- Ilovetheewiththebreadth,
Smiles, tears, ofallmylife!- and, ifGodchoose,
Ishallbutlovetheebetterafterdeath.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-61)

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20:14


hEy you.
um. today. beforeialmostcried. haiz. touchthecoldicyshoulder. andhandfeltnumb. socold. haiz. iscrewedeverythingup. justnow. Shatoldmethatmysisfamilyproblemisover. um. butherback? imbornstupid. haiz. um. idunno. imwrongtobehere. slapme, willsomeone?

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050403 19:44


Asyikin,

Myworldisalittlebrightercozyoureinit.
Thankyouforbeingmyfriend.
Ivehadmanyfriends.
Whomivesharedmytime, butveryfew.
Withwhomivesharedmyheart.
Itsurewasniceofyoutobesonicetome!
Thankyouforallyouvedone.
Youareindeedaspecialone.
Youdidsomuchformeso.
Iwantedtogiveyousomethingjustforyou.
Ihopeyoulikeit!

rememberthecardyougaveme? hmm. i stillkeptit. igonnareaditagainon14.o4.2oO5fortheSYF, iwillalwaysrememberit. youwrote..

Pss: GoodluckforyourSYFtomorrow!

iwilldomybest. ihopeyouwillfeelbetter. imsorryifididanythingwrong. imjustanotherhuman.

- riNna. loveyoulikemyownsister. imalmostthere. cheerforme.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 19:14


hEy you.
um. today. didmyhomeworkhalfway. then, sleptat4plus. feelso. um. nevermind. um. todaywasreallyfine. until. mysisgotfamilyproblems. haiz. whenwilliteverstop? andtheSha, shestilllovemysis. um. well, tomeitsokiae. but. ifmysissaidthatshedunlike/loveSha. theresnothingicando. sostopbuggingmeSha. dearsis, donteversaysorry. itsnotyourfault. haiz. um. dunnowilltheremetml. haiz. firstiwasthetsunami. andnowtheearthhquake. haiz. btw. ifeelsoextra. hmm. yea. ithink. um. idunno. cantthinkaboutit. itkillsme. almostme.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050402 19:19


BRIAN MCFADDEN LYRICS

"Almost Here"
(feat. Delta Goodrem)

Did I hear you right
'Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over

You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you, you're almost here
(Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you)
And when I hold you, you're almost here
(Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)
(Now I'm with you, I'm close to tears
'Cause I know I'm almost here)
Only almost here

- um. thissongsonice. um. icarngetthissong. andtheyujianlahh. nebermind. firstloveisalwaysinmyheart. rememberiplayedthe2ndpartontheflute. missthosetimes. yea. gottostudyliaoz.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 17:52


hEy you..
todaywasokiaebah. nothingmuchhappened. playedvery. um. icarnjudgemyself. iknowimnotagoodplayer. yea. playedtoosoft. iguess. dunno. haiz. um. afterbandmetmysis. loveher. haha. sawherlegs. um. taughtheralongcuttohertuitionplace. haiz. sawalotofcatsanddogs. haiz. wasraining. yea. iwasintherainthewholeday. intheearlymorn, iwaslatebandcozcaughtintherain. socold. butplayandplay. notsocold. um. ohyah. afterband, iwenttohougangmall. sofar. yea. justtosenttwobooks. hmm. caughtintherainagainwheniwasgoinghome. atemysismilkybarwhichshegave. yummy. sohungwry. um. coldlahh. haiz. um. havetoprepareforOlerr. haiz. sianarhh. btw, about13daystoSYF. 13ismyfaveno. whaha.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥

☮ 20050401 21:10


hEy you..
sorrylah. nebberblogforquitesometime. hmm. tmlgotband. yea. goodarh. idunwanttogoforMendakilahh. haha. nolah. iwanttofocusonBandfirst. SYFcominglahh. hmm. todaywaspissedoff. well. aNPCCmembersaidimslow. andtoldmetowalkfastforChanlesson. whatshouldicare? dunquitelikehimbah. heantilengworr. haiz. nebbermindlah. yea. gothome. tookbus268. hmm. gottobuckup. failalotofsubs. haiz. dielar. haiz. iforgotwhattotypeherre. hmm. ohyah. justnow. Kelwasangwryxia. hmm. haiz. okiae. ilovemysister. lovemeworr.

he ate my heart, then he ate my brain ♥